If You Die
by Christine Lennoire
Summary: Sickness catches up to Kurapika, and despite the situation, he makes a promise not to die. In return, Leorio has to promise to stay... will he? LeoPika... kinda fluffy!
1. A Promise Made A Promise Kept

If You Die

I know you're in pain tonight.

I can see it in your eyes.

You want to let go and end it, right?

I won't hold you back…

Won't put up a fight…

As long as you listen to me…

One last time!

These might be the last words I say – to you.

This could be the last time – I'll hold you.

And for all the times I let slip by,

I'll make this one last!

This is my last chance – to tell you,

So hear me out one last time!

I love you now…

So don't die!

Senritsu watched as Kurapika struggled with an unbearable pain. She had done the only thing she could do, and now all that was left was to wait. Even though she was scared, she put all her strength in him. If anyone could do it: it was him. The sunrise was coming, and she wasn't sure that he'd make it on time, but all she could do was watch all the emotions as they passed in Kurapika's eyes. "Hush, now. Things will be alright. I promise…" Senritsu gently parted Kurapika's hair with her hand and kissed his forehead with a motherly touch. Then she left the room, unable to watch any more.

It had been only days and everyone had though he was fine. But time told them never to trust Kurapika's word on his health. That was when she called Leorio… It wasn't that she didn't have faith. On the contrary, she did! But that didn't make anything any easier to understand. Tears stained her cheeks, as she watched for a sign. Leorio had to hurry… time was running out.

From the streets, she could hear Kurapika's cry of anguish. She imagined him tangling himself up in his sheets and thrashing about, uncomfortably. What they needed, was a doctor… What Kurapika needed, was a friend. Leorio needed to be here.

A few minutes later, a car came screeching in. The driver didn't wait to stop it. He threw the keys to Senritsu and ran as fast as he could inside, to Kurapika's side. Leorio threw down his briefcase, and began doing the only thing he knew how to… he checked his pulse and his temperate. Kurapika's temperature was too high to be normal, and his pulse was… unsteady and uneven. Each breath was labored. Something was very seriously wrong.

Since Leorio came in though, the atmosphere changed. Kurapika recognized his presence, and some of the symptoms slowed. He opened his eyes to look at him and smiled. It seemed like it had been eternity since they had seen each other last. Leorio saw his eyes open, and felt a little relief when he saw this. This proved that Kurapika still had some strength left.

The scariest thing, however, came to Leorio only after several tests… this exact same disease… he had seen it before. He had known a victim of it. Only, that victim had been a friend too! That friend… had died years ago, after many long months of suffering. Leorio's eyes widened, as the dead truth hit him. This was the disease that he had watched claim his best friend, Pietro's life, after his family couldn't make ends meet with the hospital expenses. If that wasn't enough to send him reeling, nothing was.

"Kurapika…" He whispered softly.

"I'm okay… really!" Kurapika smiled, softly reassuring the doctor. However, whenever Kurapika said he was okay, it was always the opposite. Leorio knew better than that from experience. Kurapika was lying, and the probability of his survival wasn't good. But Leorio wasn't going to admit that. He was going to make it work out. He just had to… he wouldn't watch another friend die before his eyes… especially not this one.

"I know you're in pain…" _I know you're in pain tonight… _"I know you better than that, Kurapika!" _I can see it in your eyes… _"You think you can die valiantly now, and dye on me, right?" _You want to let go and end it, right? _"I can't stop you, even if I wanted to…" _I won't hold you back… won't put up a fight… _"But you're going to listen to me and listen good first!" _As long as you listen to me… one last time…_

"Kurapika…" Leorio's usually calm expression melted and he was left open and hurt. Tears trickled down his face. "These might be the last words I say to you!" He wasn't holding anything back, kneeling before Kurapika's bed and wrapping his arms around the weak patient. "This could be the last time I'll hold you. And for all the limes I let slip by, I'll make this one last! This is my last chance to tell you, so hear me out one last time!"

He lifted one hand to Kurapika's face and pushed a few of the stray strands away from his eyes, revealing Kurapika's own tears forming. Just hearing the doctor sent Kurapika into a frenzy. There was extreme pain in his voice, and it sunk straight in to Kurapika's heart. It would have been sweet, if it wasn't so cold and bitter. It wasn't the sickness anymore… now it was fear. He realized that he didn't want to give up any more. He wanted to live.

"I love you now, so… don't die." Leorio whispered.

"I've… been waiting for you to say that. Don't tell me that you just realized this now…" Kurapika said, resting his hand on top of Leorio's. And he smiled. "Oh well… I guess that means I'm not allowed to die anymore, huh?" He smirked. Leorio's face lightened up a little and he nodded fiercely.

Leorio got up to go out. The tender moment was at an end.

"Hey! Leorio?" Leorio turned to look at the bed-ridden Kuruta questioningly. "I love you too. Don't you die on me either…" Leorio closed his eyes and smiled softly.

"I promise."

He promised to cure Kurapika. Leorio wasn't going to let go of him now that he knew the truth.

I never said that I'd always be there,

Because I can't

I never promised you the moon

I can't reach it

I'll never be the prince you dreamed of,

But then again,

You're not what I imagined either.

These might be the last words I say – to you.

This could be the last time – I'll hold you.

And for all the times I let slip by,

I'll make this one last!

This is my last chance – to tell you,

So hear me out one last time!

I love you now…

So don't die!

You're better than what I hoped for,

I know that

I guess you're more than I deserve

But I have you

Guess I'm just a lucky guy now,

Cause you're here

And that's all I could ask for after everything we've been through.

These might be the last words…

Goodbye

This might be the last time…

Hold on

And from this moment on

I know I'll fight for you

This is my chance

Here it is…

I love you.

Don't die…

If you die…

I won't forgive you.

I love you…

"Your greatest sickness was your desire for revenge." Leorio said with tears in his eyes.

"I know that." Kurapika looked back at him. "I can't promise you that it's over, either… I might just push you away again. But it's not over! Not for a long shot. As long as I live, I know I'll be fighting for that which I need… I can't rest peacefully until they're gone…"

"I know. And I'll keep fighting too… for that which I want…"

"Leorio…"

"I will! And remember your promise?"

"How could I forget? It's all I've thought about since that day." Kurapika smiled. "I've been waiting for a chance… any chance to tell you… I'm not fighting for revenge any more. I just want to end this for the chance to rest in peace… because when I can… that's when I can run to you." He smiled weakly. "It's all I want…"

"Don't die…"

"I know… you won't forgive me if I do, right?" Leorio nodded seriously. "Right, then. I'll be back." Kurapika said, turning away.

"I'll be waiting." Leorio said, looking at his friend, who just also happened to be the one person he loved more than life itself. That was the promise they had made years ago when Kurapika got sick. He got better, but the threat never went down any. He was still waiting for that day to come when Kurapika would stop, and they could be together at last.

"You better be…" Kurapika said, glaring at Leorio.

"Or what?" Leorio glanced at him, unafraid, and slightly amused. The Kuruta was becoming more playful these days.

"I'll never forgive you…" He said, pretending to sound hurt.

Leorio smiled and laughed. "Ok… I'll be here…"

"Good." Kurapika said. "What was it about that sickness I had that night? It scared you more than it should have… Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Yes." Leorio said calmly and easily.

"Well? Aren't you going to tell me?" Kurapika asked turning to face his friend, who just shook his head and shrugged it off.

"Nope."

"Why?" Kurapika was starting to become a little frustrated by his friend's calm antics.

"Because." Leorio said simply. "That's over now, and I'm not worried anymore. I have just what I wanted. It's no concern of yours about the past, no matter how good or bad. Because, together, we're going to make our own."

"Leorio…" Kurapika smiled. He liked this answer a little better. "Fine. Suit yourself. I have to go, or I'll be late."

"Don't be too long." Leorio reminded him. Neither of them were sure how long it would be until they'd meet again, but it couldn't be soon enough for either of them. Parting hurt them severely, but both of them were too proud to say anything. Kurapika remained silent, with no good answer in mind. So he just shrugged and smiled.

_If you die, I won't forgive you…_

_If you leave me, I'll haunt you…_

_But no matter what… I won't forget you…_

When there is nothing more I can do,

I will wait for you.

And when that seems hopeless…

I'll wait some more.

Until you come home…

I promise…

Four years had passed. It seemed hard to believe that it had been so long, but finally, Kurapika was ready to come home. Actually, he had been ready a long time ago, but that wasn't an option, now was it? Pride kept him away. Now he could return to do what he really wanted.

He didn't wait. All the information he needed, he found on the web, concerning a certain Hunter whom he owed a long-awaited visit. As soon as he entered the apartment, the man sitting at his desk turned around. Kurapika was soaked to the bone, but that didn't stop them from running in to each other's arms…

"You waited." Kurapika said, almost in disbelief. "And I lived. So what now? We decided what to do if we broke the promise, but never decided what to do if we kept it."

"I don't know, but… I really want to kiss you." Leorio said.

"Sounds wonderful…"

AHHHH! The sappy fluff! My teacher always told me it was bad, but here I am, writing it! He'd be soooo disappointed! Oh well… (I never liked him anyway! ) Please review! Flames are used for roasting marshmallows, not to send to authors of stories… remember that!

I love all my reviewers! There are too many to thank, but… you know who you are, and so do I! I thank you, and beg you to keep reading! Thanx.

C.L.


	2. Something to Believe In

If You Die

Can you believe I'm updating this? I can't! But I got my teacher to read it again after I read some of your reviews, and he re-thought his criticism. Not just that, but he gave me an idea to continue it. If you liked the first part, I think you'll REALLY like the next part. Hope you do. And please, keep reviewing! For those of you who think this is a good idea, thank my teacher .

Part Two: Something to Believe In…

I know you don't feel right, because I can see it in your eyes.

All the times you pushed me away, and now I realize…

With every hit, you really screamed out,

"Help me… I need you to be here."

Because you needed…

Never wanted…

Always loved, and now I'm here.

You had faith in me,

When that's all you had left.

Now I'm here…

I'll give you something to believe in.

Leorio sat on his bed, looking at his friend who was now his love. How long had he waited? The initial moment had been wonderful, but now it seemed like Kurapika had become his old self again… the one who was shy and hated any kind of contact. Leorio knew that no matter what Kurapika said, it wasn't over yet and it wouldn't be for a while. But he couldn't change that, now could he? All he could do was wait. Waiting: a promise made; a promise kept. He wasn't going to go back on his word. That was the extent of his true feelings. Now, he could only dream that the man lying on the floor, curled up in many covers felt the same way for him.

He turned on his side and looked out the window. It was raining again like it had been going for weeks. The gloomy atmosphere was starting to affect him, he thought. Normally, Leorio would have smiled and thought of something better, but not this time. 'Spiders are the foulest creatures on earth…' he thought to himself, closing the blinds of the window. Thunder and lightning started a short while ago, although Leorio didn't remember when he had heard it first. He quickly crawled under his covers and decided to go to bed.

Kurapika laid his head down harder onto the pillow. Through the storm, he couldn't sleep. Not to mention the horrible nightmares that he had. Kuroro and his men had taken a good part of Kurapika's life from him. It was all he could do to remember the days he spent with his people before they died. Kurapika slowly opened his eyes, staring at the wall opposite of Leorio, and he imagined himself back in the village, as if he was just coming back from a long journey, and they weren't really dead at all. His sister would have run to meet him, and his mother would prepare them a warm meal. Although he couldn't remember his father, he was sure that he would have been there too…

Not a day had gone by that Kurapika didn't imagine his family before him. As long as he did, he knew that they would never be erased from his heart or his mind. With all the pain in his world, how could he hope to find something true… something real, that he could trust, and put his whole self into? There wasn't anything like that, he told himself. That was how he felt. A single tear rolled down his cheek.

"_Kurapika! Watch me!" Iori, his little sister shouted to him as she danced around the field._

"_Kurapika! Don't do that! You'll get your nice outfit all dirty!" His mother said as he played with Iori in the mud. They were laughing and having such a great time. 'How old would she be now if she was still alive?' Kurapika asked himself sadly._

Then his thoughts shifted to the spiders…

"_I never thought the chain-user would be a girl." Kuroro smirked at him with that smug look on his face. He acted like he knew everything… had he no regret? No honor? How sad…_

_He thought of them all… from Kuroro the leader, to Phinx the killer, Shizuku, Feitan, Nobunga, and even those who were dead now… Because they were dead because of him… and he remembered each moment clearly._

Kurapika shivered. The window was closed, but the cold air was coming in. It made him feel like a true, blue icicle. Just like his heart, he felt frozen to the core, and then he remembered why he came back: the reason he didn't end the struggle now.

"_If you die… I won't forgive you."_

_Leorio…_

Kurapika sat up and looked over at the sleeping man. A small smile crept upon his face. He couldn't help but feel so lucky, like a piece of his life had been restored in all. Maybe there was something…

Maybe you can't hear me…

Maybe you won't know the difference,

But I'm here now.

You don't have to run away no more.

I know you're still hurt.

The wounds won't just disappear.

But in the distance,

I'm sure there is something worth believing in.

Let me prove it to you…

He stood up and crawled over to the bed. Even now, he had left a nice bruise on Leorio's cheek for an earlier incident. Because of his frozen heart, he couldn't let the one he loved touch him. 'This is for you… because I know you'll be here. I know you won't go away, no matter how bad it gets… because… I love you. And I trust you…'

Because I believe in you…

And that's all I can do.

Kurapika crawled into the bed next to him and wrapped his arms around him gently.

Thank you,

For giving me something to believe in.

Please, let me do the same for you….

So? Whaddaya think? I was surprised by the turn-out! I thought it was going to be bad, but I like it! Please review! Not to mention a big THANK YOU to all my reviewers from before! Keep it up! I love reviews.


	3. Let Me Come and Let Me Go

If You Die...

Chapter Three: Let Me Come and Let Me Go

YES! Once again I have probably surprised all my readers of this story by continuing once again. More ideas popped into my head over the time since my last chapter, so here it is... I hope it lives up to the standards of my other two. Thanks, and keep reviewing please. I luv you guys...

_If you want me to knock you out..._

_Show what I'm about..._

_Then hear what I am saying..._

_I know you've been there before..._

_You say you know the score..._

_But that's not how I'm playing..._

_Let me come and let me go_

_  
Cause I want you to know_

_  
I will never leave you've  
_

_If you never let me down_

_  
I'll always be around_

_Let me come and let me go..._

Kurapika kept coming in and out of Leorio's life, promise or no promise. Inside both of them, they were a mess, but neither one was willing to forget. Faith was buried deep within their souls. So deep that sometimes it was easy to forget how far they had come. One night, Kurapika was about to leave when Leorio came back inside. Fearful, Leorio grabbed onto Kurapika's arm and begged him not to go. Who knows when he would be back again. How much more of this could Leorio take? It had been too much, for way too long.

"Let me go." Kurapika said firmly. "I come and go. You have to trust me. I always come back, and you know that. Why would I just leave you?" the blonde tried to hide his pain behind a thin wall of anger. But his eyes showed Leorio the truth and he didn't need to ask anymore to know.

Leorio frowned. "And just how long will it last? One day you'll go and you might never come back! Who knows why, but like this, things could never last. They just can't, and I just can't take that! I've never done anything wrong... I did everything you asked me to. So why are you so intent on running away all the time? Is there something I'm missing, because I just don't get it!"

"Leorio... Let me come and go. I won't leave you as long as you keep up promise. If you don't let go, then I'll always be here. Why are you so content on worrying about things that really aren't going to change. Once I am done..." he paused, "Once I am done, then I can relax, but right now, I'm on pins and needles, just trying to get by and I'm scared. But thanks to you, I'm not alone. I will always be grateful. You mean more to me than you will ever know, because there are things about you that I just can't find words for... but... you have to just let it go."

"You make it sound so easy." Leorio said softly. "I wish that I could. But to do that I'd have to be pretty heartless! And nobody's that heartless!" He said, hiding his eyes from Kurapika.

Kurapika faced him and smiled. "I wouldn't call it being heartless. I would call it being strong... holding out for me. That's what I've asked you since that day. I asked for nothing more. But if that's too hard then let me go now and don't let me come back... because I can't do things like that unless I know I'll have somebody waiting for me... somebody that loves me..."

A pause, then Leorio smiled. "You're never easy, but for some reason I give in every time. Don't think you're getting off easy, because I'm not going to let you. You can't leave me." They embraced for a moment before Kurapika nodded and headed out the door. There was a storm brewing outside. Leorio had just woken to find Kurapika cuddling with him. The next moment, the storm woke Kurapika and he was out the door like it was his business. Leorio didn't know why, but it made his lover seem kind of... heroic, somehow.

_Let me come and let me go..._

_  
Cause I want you to know..._

_  
I will never leave you..._

_  
If you never let me down..._

_I'll always be around_

_Let me come and let me go..._

Later that afternoon, after the storm had let up, Kurapika returned, slightly wet and seemingly calmer. He sat on the bed next to Leorio, who just stared at him distantly and smiled. "It's over." Kurapika said, much to Leorio's surprise. "I ended it. I think it's time I started thinking about what is most important to me... starting with the man that started it all." he said, punching Leorio gently, in a playful manor.

"Honestly?" Leorio asked, almost joyfully frightened to believe that it might be true. Kurapika nodded and kissed him.

"As over as it gets. You don't have to watch me come and go from your life anymore. I won't have to leave you. As long as you keep your promise, I'll be around. So..."

Leorio smiled. "And I was just going to tell you that it was okay with me if you came and went as long as you planned on coming back." Kurapika hugged him and rested his head on his shoulders. Leorio noticed almost instantly the change in Kurapika. He wasn't afraid to touch or be touched anymore. And he wondered what exactly happened, though he wasn't really that interested in finding out...

"How very gracious of you."

_I want you to knows_

_  
I will never leave you_

_If you never let me down_

_I'll always be around_

_I've come and gone for the last time..._

Now THAT is the end... Please review. Thanks to all my former reviewers. I appreciate everything you've done for me...


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